. : : Urban Reality : : . » Funny Bone

Digi Yellowman p4wn3d

melz — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 13:23:29 +0000

Sometimes, I really think that the Digi ads with those Yellowman following people around is kinda annoying. They even changed the lyrics of the song “I will follow you” which makes it more annoying =.=”

Well, now see how those Yellowman get p4wn3d. Enjoy !

Tags: DIGI, Celcom, telco, malaysia

Why British think 80% of Malaysians coming to UK to study law?

melz — Sat, 12 May 2007 15:49:17 +0000

Hereâ€™s something to laugh about when it comes to Malaysian using Manglish in UK. =p

UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of visit?

Visitor: I’m here to study law, sir.

Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia .

Visitor: Why do you say that?

Officer: Well, i’ve been here for a good twenty years, and I’d say 80% of
Malaysians I see here say they’re here to read law.

Visitor: Oh, really? That’s really something i never knew. Hard to believe in fact.

Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next Malaysian comes along, and I’ll bet he’s here to read law.

*Visitor waits for 5 mins, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to immigration
counter*

Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit?

Ah Chong: Study lorr…

Tags: manglish, malaysia

What Simon says about TMNut

melz — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 06:33:19 +0000

This is not American Idol. So, what do you think Simon would say when it comes to TMNut ?

Oh My Gawd!!!

melz — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 14:55:50 +0000

6 seconds to 100KM/hour, running 200KM/hour in housing area road……………. in a freakin CLK (Cacated-Large-Kembara) . No Way!!! That’s freakin ridiculous ! The Max speed for Kembara is only 180KM/hour and nobody would actually reach that speed before the engine blows.

Yeah, I would have expected that. I just realized that the damn speedometer was faulty. I was shocked when the gauge went pass 180KM/hour. Gees, luckily I’m not on the highway. Else, I wouldn’t know what speed i’m actually & it would result getting summon. As I was thinking, something pop up in my mind. A scenario that might happen if I’m being stopped by the police.

Here goes….

Police : Kamu nak pergi mana ?

Me : Balik rumah, tuan.

Police : Tahu tak, berapa laju kamu jalan tadi ?

Me : Er, entah. Meter dah lebih 180KM, tapi macam slow je.

Police : Mana boleh lebih. Jangan main-main dengan saya.

Me : Betul la. Saya takde main. Saya rasa meter dah rosak kot.

Police : Meter rosak ke, tak rosak pun kamu dah lakukan kesalahan. Kamu pandu melebihi had kelajuan. Saya terpaksa saman kamu.

Me : Saya betul-betul tak tahu, tuan. Tak saman tak boleh ke ?

Police : Tak boleh. Ini peraturan. Kamu dah langgar peraturan. Bagi IC kamu.

Me : (Passes my IC to the police).

Police : Sekarang, I bagi you saman. Tapi ni saman RM300 tau ?

Me : Wah ! Saman banyak mahal.

Police : Ya lah. Ini memang kompaun biasa. Macam mana nak settle?

Me : (Act blur knowing that he’s asking for duit kopi) Apa lagi macam mana. Saya dah salah ma. Saman saja lah!

Now playing: Dido – isobel

PARENT – Job Description

melz — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 14:53:32 +0000

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, none of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered ; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Malaysian drivers

melz — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 06:17:40 +0000

This just a joke created based on malaysian driver’s attitude…….

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: IPOH driver

2. One hand on wheel, one hand out the window with cigarette:KEPONG driver.

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: DOWNTOWN KUALA LUMPUR driver.

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on parang, foot solidly on accelerator: JOHOR driver.

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, hands-free on the lap: BANGSAR driver.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: FOREIGNER, driving in MALAYSIA.

7. One hand on 12 oz. Double shot latte, one knee on wheel,talking on cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging headon steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SUBANG JAYA DRIVER…..on the Federal Highway!!!

8. One hand on wheel, one hand on passengers head rest,alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing rambutans or durian shells out the window: KARAK HIGHWAY KUANTAN driver.

9. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, READY-TO-KILL attitude, rear window stickers read “Make my day”, beer cans on floor, wedding ribbon still attached to antenna: CONSTRUCTION SITE….PUCHONG driver!

10.One hand on the handphone, another hand picking nose, One leg on the dash board, another leg crossed on the seat with a beer can in the middle ~ turning anywhere he likes, parking anywhere he likes, in fact, driving anywhere he likes. aaahhh….. this is a heaven for drivers ……welcome to PENANG!

11. Two hands gripping tightly to the wheel, eyes glued on the windscreen, alternately stepping on the accelerator and brakes every 5 seconds. WOMAN DRIVER!

Royal Malaysian Joke

melz — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 15:11:51 +0000

Three men, a British, an American and a Malaysian were sitting beside
each other on a plane.

The British started introducing himself to the other two,
“My name is Bond, James Bond.”

The American replies,
“My name is Damme, Van Damme, Claude Van Damme,
Jean Claude Van Damme”.

Not wanting to be left out, the Malaysian added in,
“My name is Agung, DiPertuan Agung, Yang DiPertuan Agung,
Baginda Yang DiPertuan Agung, Paduka Baginda Yang DiPertuan Agung,
Seri Paduka Baginda Yang DiPertuan Agung,
Mulia Seri Paduka Baginda Yang DiPertuan Agung,
Yang Maha Mulia Seri Paduka Baginda Yang DiPertuan Agung,